Nonprofit jokes that are bad — for good

The nonprofit sector tackles an exponential amount of serious issues facing our world and society, all for the greater good. In that spirit, we’ve created this (frankly terrible) list of dad jokes about nonprofits and fundraising to make you smile, to use at your next board meeting, or to populate your Twitter feed. #sorrynotsorry

Nonprofit jokes: Matching gifts

1. Why did Duracell donate batteries for their matching gift program?
They were free of charge.

2. Why did the Mars matching gift program fail?
Wrong atmosphere.

3. Why did the matching gift program at the sushi restaurant fail?  
It was fishy.

4. Why did Red Lobster stop their matching gift program?
They were shellfish.

5. Why did the beaver company’s matching gift test succeed?  
It was the best dam program.

Nonprofit jokes: Corporate donors

6. Why did Coca Cola’s recycling plant stop its giving program?
It was soda-pressing.

7. Why did the Skeleton Gang’s corporate donation program fail?
They had no body to give.

8. Why did the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company’s corporate gift bounce?
It was tearable.

Nonprofit jokes: Event planning

9. How do you organize a fundraiser for the Earth?
You plan-et.

10. Why was the camping fundraiser so crazy?
It was in-tents.

11. Will February March for Dimes?
No, but April may.

12. Why was the cemetery fundraiser so popular?
People were dying to get in.

13. Why is Cinderella so bad at organizing fundraising events?
She’s always running away from the ball.

Nonprofit jokes: Donor statistics

14. How much do pirates donate on average?
A buccaneer.

15. How often do pool lifeguards donate to charity?
It deep-ends.

16. Why are the Swiss such great donors?
Don’t know, but their flag is a big plus.

17. Why did people stop donating to the Big Ben Fund?
They thought it was a waste of time.

Nonprofit jokes: Donor relations

18. Why did the bike stop donating?
It was 2 tired.

19. Why did the clown donate his salary?
It was a nice jester.

20. What did the beekeeper say to the fundraising ask?
“May-bee.”

21. What does a spicy donor do when they don’t get a thank-you note?
They get jalapeno face.

22. What do you call a donor with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.

23. Why did Mr. Peanut donate to the ACLU?
He was assaulted.

24. Why didn’t the Invisible Man donate?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.